---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Two
Dogs:
First dog : I ate a
roll of movie film for my lunch.
Second dog : Did you like it?
First dog : No, It had a sad ending!
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What goes smaller when you turn it upside down?
The number 9
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do Martians drink tea?
Out of flying saucers!
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Why don't chickens have trunks?
They don't go swimming!
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What's the difference between a baby and coat?
One you were and the other you wear!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the most common illness in China?
Kung Flu!
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Frank : how did you like the parrot I sent you?
Joe : It was delicious.
Frank : you mean you ate it? I paid $500 for that parrot, and it
spoke even seven different languages!
Joe : Then why didn't it say anything when I put it in the oven?
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What would you call a small wound?
A short cut!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the little boy ask his father to sit on the fridge?
He wanted an ice-cold pop!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boy : My grand mother is still living at 103
Man : Amazing, 103 years old!
Boy : No, 103 high street,
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Husband with wife :
Husband : who's at the door?
wife : A man with a drum
Husband : tell him to beat it!
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Why do leopards never escape from the zoo?
Because they are always spotted!
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What did one lift say to the another lift?
I think I'm coming down with something!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tennis Players
why are fish such poor tennis players?
They don't like to get too close to the net
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you do if a herd of elephants are chasing after you?
Make a trunk call and reverse the charges!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The train now standing at platforms 2,3,4 and 5 has come in
sideways.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can you name the three most important inventions that helped man
get up in the world?
Elevator, escalator and alarm clock!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What will always support you when everyone else lets you down?
Your legs!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Where do robots fight?
In the scrap yard!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor to patient :
you are suffering from loss of memory. My fee is Rs.300 in
advance!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is Winnie the pooch's middle name?
The.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher and student :
Teacher : your handwriting is dreadful, you must learn to write
better.
Student : If I did, you'd find out my spelling was dreadful too!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What has no legs but runs everywhere?
Water!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why was the football team given a lighter?
Because they kept losing their matches!
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Next
Philosophy
Exam
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first
examination.
On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this
a question?" - Discuss.
After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this
is an answer."
The student received an "A" on the exam.
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